Sex It Up, Baby!

After a chat with Juice, The Edge et al last night, apparantly I can make my blog caught by more visitors who use search engines. All I have to do is make more sexual references in my blog, and this will get picked up by anyone searching for those words. Sounds like a load of bollocks to me, and I'm not sure what words people use in their searches, but we'll give it a try and see if someone looking for 'hot, hard and hungry' accidentally stumbles on my page. Just imagine their dissapointment when they realise there are no pictures of girl's getting done in various positions that are only usually seen in the Kama Sutra. Apologies to any readers if they are offended by my crude words - I need the traffic!

Ok, let's start with the fun bit before I get to the point. Before a recent football match between Argentina and Brazil, an Argentinean condom company came up with this ad to show the Brazilians what they were going to do to them. Penis, bottoms and tits - all in one picture!

Things didn't go to plan, Brazil won the match so their football organization replied to the ad with the following:

Pretty good huh? I have acceptable pictures of a penis - gotta get loads of hits, or should that be tits, on this!

Anyway, September has started good and bad. Opened up at Sun Poke Her, hit some humping bad beats in my first two hours play and after seeing 50$ go up the shitter, recognised the 'Inter' scenario again, so shut down and took my money to USA Poker, which is on the same system as CD Poker, so I can play against the same players i usually do and work towards a bonus at the same time!

Had a good start there and have built my starting stack of 100$ up to $184 thanks to a sexy 15th place in a 5$ tourny and some orgasmic cash table play.

Had two massive hands at Poker 4 Ever that have catapulted me into a 230$ bankroll. I doubt Debbie Does Dallas would be more exciting than this.

Dealt 55 and a 4 x bb raise before me. I call along with one other player and see a flop of AK5. First player checks, so I bet 2$ 2nd player calls, and initial raiser put's it up another 5$. Already being hit twice with my set beaten by a higher set, I call as does player 3.

Turn is a J. 10$ raise which I call as does player 3 putting him all in. There is now a str8 to worry about also. The river is a 2, player one moves all in with his remaining stack and I call. Player one has AK, player two has AJ and my set of 5's takes an 80$ pot.

A short while later, I'm on the button with AQs so raise it to 4 x BB and get 2 callers. Flop is K J 10, just about the best I could have expected. I check and player 2 puts a 7$ bet in which is called by player 2 and me (want to build the pot here). My check on the turn see's a 10$ bet called, so I raise it up, putting the other 2 players all in. Both call!

Imagine your feelings here, and savour them, as this doesn't happen that often. You have the nuts, (you get that - the nuts are in your hand) and as the river falls and there is no full house or flush possible and you have 2 callers raising you when you bet big! The worse case scenario is that someone else has AQ and you have to share. Player 1 turns over K 10, player two has Q 9, and my hand takes a 3 figure pot.

A lot of luck involved here, that I attract 2 players with strong hands when I have the best, or close to the best, hand possible. Not sure how the Q9 hand or the AK hand can get away from their calls, though the AK hand should have slowed down a bit when the str8 draw was there. Should AJ be calling big bets on a AK5 flop, in a 3 handed game? He'll feel his call was justified when the J hit the turn, though calling a 5 x bb raise before him - what would you put your opponent on? Maybe he deserved to get fucked on the table for not thinking a bit more about this rather than his nice pair?

The great thing about a floppy set is that it is so well disguised. Mr AK will think he is so far ahead, hoping I have AQ or AJ, so I don't think anyone would play that hand any different except maybe Mr AJ folding to the big one on the flop - though can you blame a call?

The second hand, once you flop a str8, you'd want to get your money in quickly, stop a two pair turning into a full house maybe - but why he called a 5 x bb raise with Q9 is another question, pretty anal, so maybe he got what he deserved? Again, Mr K10 - maybe not the worse call as a lot of players like this hand, but flopping 2 pair on a board with a str8 has gotta make you cautious. Maybe he was hoping for the full house, and implied odds? He gotta bit vocal after the hand, gave me a bit of mouth action, but I reminded him who was the favourite pre-flop, and that hand won. Still, must've been a hell of a blow for them.

If I smoked, I would be rolling a fag with the best shag I could find, but I don't so I'll have to do with a mug of coffee. Anway, another good night on the tables and a good start to the month.

Keep it real guys :-)